Like many women I suffer with an “aliment” that causes me to often say too much… too often…too aggressively. I think some refer to it as nagging. I don’t really like that word…So that’s not what I’m calling it;) My son once described to me what his sadness felt like. He said that it was like all his hurt came up from his tummy and got stuck in his throat and made his nose sting. I thought this was brilliant…but like most women I also suffer from an “aliment” that causes me to think everything my children say are brilliant;)
I think about his description often. It is a great reminder of how we often neglect to put together just how much our emotional self effects our physical way of dealing with a feeling. For me…When I keep all my feelings of stress, and frustration bottled up in “my tummy” it eventually finds it’s way up…but unlike my son it does not get stuck in my throat…No…mine spills out into words. Words that are often unthoughtful, incredibly selfish…and if I’m being honest…a little desperate. What I want to say is “I am feeling incredibly overwhelmed right now (and as women we know right now means…right now…In a few minutes we could change our minds about the whole situation…but that’s just the way our cookie/life crumbles…Okay back to my sentence now…Sorry for the interruption;) …and I could use your help.” but what comes out instead is something that sounds…well okay…like “nagging”.
After spending the morning in prayer over this very “ailment” I came across a scripture that took on new meaning for me in that very moment. “The LORD your God is with you (he will not abounded me in a moment I cannot myself seem to control), he is mighty to save . He will take great delight in you , he will quiet you with his love (even if this means me asking him to put his gentle hand tightly over my loose lips) , he will rejoice over you with singing.” Zephaniah 3:17.
I realize that this “ailment” is something I may battle with for many…many…many more days to come…but on those days that the battle is won…the Lord will be there. He will delight in that moment…That moment he saved me from myself. He will rejoice with me as we celebrate his great rescue…and then together we will go on to fight that battle again…and again…until my war with words is finally over…Oh blessed be that day!!