I have been thinking a lot about all this blog business lately. Some days I have felt overwhelmed by it…I have felt lost in a sea full of voices. I mean do we really need another mommy blogger?…You don’t even need to answer that;) But here I am anyways…Searching for a place to land…Searching for a reason to stay…Doing a pretty good job of convincing myself that it may be time to pack it up and move on. So I thought I would just start “writing it out” and see where that takes me.
All of reality has told me that I am not ever likely to be one to reach the masses…My words may in fact not ever reach much further beyond a handful of close family and friends…but why am I trying so hard to convince myself that this isn’t okay…that it’s not enough? Comparison truly is a great thief of joy. Like a well trained pick pocket it replaces your value with the weight of self doubt so that you may not notice that you have been robbed of it…At least not until you find yourself feeling a bit empty.
The fact is…until nasty ol’ “comparison” stole it I truly had found a great amount of joy in writing this little ol’ blog. I love how creative I can be. I love sharing this and that and the other just because I can…and I like it. I never really had any great big blog dreams…I just wanted to create something beautiful…to me…and perhaps to a few of those close family and friends.
So I guess all of that to lead me here…Now convincing myself that the comparison needs to stop…and I need to move forward….to move past it. (Aren’t you glad you were one of the handfuls to tune in today to hear a little of my somewhat self-deprecating internal dialog…Lucky for you this is only about five minutes worth;) It’s amazing the journey you can go on from one thought to the next…from one paragraph to the next.
So here is my truth…The one that I rediscovered in a previous paragraph…The one that was all covered up in self doubt…Here it is…I do not need to have anything to say that is life altering or world changing to have a voice (say what;). I don’t need thousands of people following that voice…In fact as I search my heart even deeper I realize that I do not really need my voice to be heard at all…but just simply to be spoken…That’s where my pure joy comes from…(end dialog)